It’s a habit that people say they are happy/angry/sad when they are experiencing the emotions respectively. But there’s a problem is say things like I am angry in that we may equate a person with an emotion, a feeling. As “I am so and so" is used when we are introducing ourselves to strangers.
The point is that people exist in their own right and they are not the emotions their are experiencing. For after a particular sort of emotion has gone, we are still very likely here.
So instead of saying I am angry, say what I feel, i.e., I feel angry or the like.
Saying what you feel is the first step to take control, you feel it; but you are not your anger; you are not your sadness.
The next step is to work out who makes you feel the way you feel. The answer is you yourself, and there’s no one else should be responsible for your feelings.
For example, people tend to say, you make me happy/sad/angry… but the truth is: I let myself feel angry/sad/happy because of your actions, or because of what you did.
In becoming aware of who make you feel in a particular way, you will come to realise you have to option to feel otherwise.
To take control, you have to be conscious of the fact that you CAN CHOOSE to feel in whichever way you want to.
To take control is to take full responsibility in how you feel.
Urban Monk : the elusive key to emotional mastery
2008 一月 8 by krizcpec